THEY SUCK EYEBALLS

So... when I was a camp counselor yeah verily and long ago, I got really sick of having to tell the kids to watch where they were going because (especially the little ones) were always tripping and then we would have to stop and coddle them until they stopped crying and you could never say some thing like, "You call that a scratch? You little pissing whiner how dare you was my time for this little nothing! I'll well give you something to bloody cry about if I have stop one more time, do you get me?" Stupid child services. Survival of the fittest I say! Regardless I devised my own little way of making those little anklebiters stay focused on marching... I mean... Hiking...

See, I told them (and honestly I have to tell you that this really started out being a little experiment in how much children would believe--it's not my fault they are gullible) that in this section of the forests there were snakes. But these were tree snakes who spent almost their entire lives in the trees. They would be attracted to noises made by hikers and they would drop down out of the trees and fall on the faces of the campers and SUCK OUT THEIR EYES. They were all properly horrified.

They asked, how the snakes knew when to dive, and I told them that when they would see the gleam of eyeballs they would know that their snack approached. So the only defense was to be quiet and to keep your STINKING GOB FACING THE GROUND. Ok I put it a tidge more delicately, but you get the idea.

So anyway this brilliant plan was working really well, until an irate parent said that her son was drawing pictures of these tree-snakes at home the week after they returned from camp...